Gompers the Chomper
by SoostheHandyman
Summary: Gompers is a lot more interesting than you'd think. This is the secret behind what Gompers REALLY is. Join him on his mission to finally make the people of Gravity Falls happy again.
1. Chapter 1

Gompers the Chomper

One day, while carefully chewing upon a blade of grass outside the Mystery Shack, Gompers the Goat noticed something in the distance. It was large… and, well, to be honest…

It was a dick. But it wasn't just ANY dick. No. It was long and black, head glistening in the late afternoon Oregon Sun. It didn't take long before Gompers realized just who the girthy meat belonged to…

The goat _wasn't _going to miss this chance. He slowly hopped towards Bill Cypher, rectangular eyes intent on that large dick. Bill was surprised, but not bothered as Gompers carefully spread out those oh-so-sexy, dapper black legs. A bleat erupted from his mouth.

It wasn't the first time he'd made love to a goat. It was the third, actually. But the ones in the past had never shown such initiateve.

Gompers lowered his snout to Bill's moist head. Gently allowing him to feel the moisture on his sensitive member…

Bill began to moan. Gompers expertly stuck out his tongue…

And made one long, slobbery lick.

It reminded them of those Doritos he eaten out of the garbage yesterday. They were Cool Ranch, yet… Bill tasted different. No. He didn't taste like Cool Ranch. He tasted like…

Jalapeno and Chedder Doritos.

Yes. The goat thought it was _acceptabl_. And after the one taste, he knew he had to have more.

He lickd several more times before opening his goat-breathed maw, sinking his teeth deep into Bill's oh-so big dick.

Bill tried desperarly to push him away, but realized with a sigh that he just… COULDN'T. He resigned to it. Suck-cummed. He'd suffered through the same before, and could definitely suffer through it again. Especially with how good it felt.

Gomper's lick grew more furios, and each made Bill closer and closer….

Closer to releasing his sweet, mountain dew flavored juices.

Still, Gompers grew more furious and furiouser, his tongue lashing and Bill thrashing with all their might. But Gompers wasn't content to merely lick and nibble. He backked off for a moment, and…

Bit even harder.

Finally, it had beein enough. Bill suck-cummed and was pushed over the edge. Suddenly, he began to spew dapper jizz eveywhere. Gompers didn't miss the chance, and latched onto that moist, steamy feeding tube.

He swallowed over a gallon of the tasty substance, emptying Bill's prodigious reserves. On and on it rushed for hours.

Until he was done.

Finally, both parties were satesfied. Gompers with his midday meal. And Bill with the first orgasm he'd had in a decade. Toby Determined was pretty good at licking, too, but not _nearly _as good as Gompers the sexy stud muffin was.

And so, Bill began to float away, triangular dick receding into its black sheathe like a mighty sword.

Gompers? Well, Gompers galloped off into the sunset, thinking of his next sexy victim, an image of a portly, sexy man in a green shirt with khaki shorts filling his lacking, yet horny head.


	2. Chapter 2

Stars had already begun to jizz across the sky. As Gomperss arrived back at the Shack, he noted Soos' bald head (the lower one) in the window attached to the previously secret room. Gompers the Goat saw it and bleated in excitement: he was finally going to get his reward for a job well done!

Soos heard the bleat before he saw his minion. He had no idea what had transpired; Gompers had no standing orders. Yet here the goat came, literally, clearly anticipating some sort of treat.

Gompers racd to the door and bashed at it with his horns, whose hardnes resembled his _third _horn at this point. It was blowing up to enormous proportions, far beyond most human men, with precum spewing out and red tip glistening in the night. This is why Soos had chosen him to be the avatar of his more hidden aspects; his secret desires that never came to fruition through his own body. He was far more depraved than his mild deboner would seem to suggest. It was only because he was able to use Gompers like this that he had any peace at all.

Stan finally came (see what I did thar?) to the door, swearing and eyes bleary from watching the more adult channels on the TV for hours after the twins had gone to bed. Surely this goat couldn't have interrupted at a far more inconvenent time? Gompers burst through the doorway, through Stan's legs and under his raging boner. The feel of the goat on his legs made Stan confused about his arousal, but no less hard for it.

He'd have to screw that animal, sooner or later.

So, up Gompers went (in more ways than one), and started to butt against Stan's upright rod. It was a lot bigger than he'd expected. And it didn't take long for Stan's seed to explode from its girthy confines.

But that wasn't Gompers' only desires. He had far more in mind for the recklessly horny old man. After all, even Gompers couldn't resist the allure of his gold chains.

So, with a mighty leap and another orgasm (Gompers has LOTS of jizz to spare), he grabbed that gold chain from Stan's oh-so sexy and wrinkly neck and tore it off. Stan was a bit surprised, but didn't resist. Instead, he went along with it, for now. It wasn't as if a bit of goat fucking couldn't fit into his schedule.

He just hoped that Dipper and Mabel wouldn't come and see it. Or maybe he did. At the very least he knew that it was in his interest that they didn't see. He wasn't prepared to rape them both. Yet.

Though, he had to admit, the thought of thrusting his manhood deep into his great nephew's tight asshole was pretty tempting.

But the goat would have to do.

For now.


	3. Chapter 3

Gompers had finished off Stan (Stan couldn't jizz any more after about fifty orgasms) and left the man covered in a huge pool of his own cum in the middle of the living room floor. Gompers hoped that Stan would clean it up, or eat it, at least.

And so Gompers returned to Soos for his "reward". He galloped up the stairs and went to the door of his master's secret room, smelling BO, butt cheese (the moldy, sexy kind), and tacos from Taco Bell as he did so. When Soos opened the door, Gompers realized that the smell was coming from HIM.

All the better. Gompers' mouth and dick salivated sweetly in anticipation.

"Hey there, partner!" Soos yelped, chins giggling as he did so. And then he let the goat cum in.

It would have been hard for him to resist anyways. Gompers was very intent about getting his way, so resisting is rarely worth the effort. Soos pretended to give his horns a handjob, giggled a bit, and then sprawled out on the couch, penis beginning to rise.

"So, how was Bill?"

"Baaaaaa."

"I knew his cheesy Dorito dick was too hard to resist. Anyways, I'm almost ready to give you your reward!"

"Baaaaaa!"

This was good. And good in a _dirty_way. Soos waited for his 1 inch peenas to become erect and then turned to Gompers.

"Do my hambone, hambone! I want you _so _bad! And… well, _that__'__s _pretteh bad." Soos growled sexly.

Gompers dove in for the snack. Back and forth and back and forth he sucked, aroused by Soos' small dick and the moldy bacteria cheese in his pubes. There was some dried blood in there, probably from the last time Soos raped Mabel when she had her period.

He liked it when she was saucy.

Anyways, he turned back to the blowjob at hand, reveling in the way Gompers was so eager to swallow his moist, jizz-smothered, mold-covered, and blood-encrusted pubes. They smelled even BETTER than Bill's had.

"Oh, _yeah_, hambone! I want you to goat fuck me so hard like you did Stan!"

"Baaa?" Gompers bleated in confusion. How did Soos know?

"Oh, I _know_."

On and on he continued the blowing, like a firework of tense, goat sex energy. Until Soos came. And came. And came again and again and again.

His reward was done.

Soos patted the goat on the head, making sure to catch of few dribbles of his drool and savor the pubes - his and thick - that were inside of that same drool. He swallowed a bit of it. Smiled. And then…

"Alright, the time has cummed. Your new mission is to go find that red-headed, sexy bitch that works in the Gift Shop and her sexy zombie boyfriend that I've always wanted to buttfuck."

"Baaaa!"

Soos liked the way Gompers talked. After taking another swab of Gompers' pube filled drool and eating it, he nodded.

Gompers set out, but not before licking some of the jizz off of Stanford, who was still passed out in the living room. He had to nudge Waddles away from the jizz first, though. That pig was so greedy!

Gompers tore Stan's boxers off and licked some of the jizz that had oozed down to his butthole. The shit (Stanford never wiped!) and the semen was too much, like how strawberries and chocolate go together….

He orgasmed. Twice.

Then he skipped off to find the people Soos had told him to fuck. He remembered hearing the two talking about getting back together and hanging out in the graveyard that night. Dipper looked really sad…

But Gompers would make him happy again.


End file.
